Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
