i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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