You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
