I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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