it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
