All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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