ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
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So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
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She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You left your phone here
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