Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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