Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
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I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.