Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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