I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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