you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.