before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
