Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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