I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
