So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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