We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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