Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
