i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
