Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
