I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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