The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
