we have pet lesbian snakes
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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