While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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