OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
