I like my sex mixed with concussions.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
