I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
