Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize