i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
