I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
