do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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