i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
