we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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