Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
