I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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