Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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