jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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