is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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