areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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