Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I could make wine with my vomit
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
