i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
