it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
