i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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