lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
