hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
