Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
