i can't believe i had my finger in that
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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