Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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