I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
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Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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