is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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