Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
