OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
