you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
