so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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