she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Come on in and take your pants off
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