I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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