Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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