Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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