I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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