Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
