dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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