Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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