When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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