Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
